Waiting and the lessons it offers


Oh my gosh.

This is the week of waiting waiting waiting… it seems for everything. Clearly, there’s lessons to be found.

Honestly, it’s all very first world stuff too. Waiting to hear about moving and what the rent will be. Will they build the partial wall we want and install ceiling fans? Waiting for red tape to be cleared so I can register for the next semester of classes in my clinical psych program. Waiting to feel the little spinning ball of crazy energy inside me to settle down so I can work. (Note to self, clearly time for more meditation.)

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And then there’s more serious waiting.

Waiting to see what’s up with the infection in my mother’s 89 year old leg and what risk there is to her and or her leg. Waiting to hear news of a wonderful writer friend who was hit by a car exactly one week ago while riding her bike, who is going into more surgery today to fix the leg which the driver seriously f#’d up when they plowed into her.  Send up your good wishes and love even though you don’t know who it is. That kind of love helps everyone. (Thank you.) She is lucky to be alive. But I think it’s not luck, but the world needs people like her, doing good, whole hearted.

And let’s go global for a minute.

Waiting for the time when everyone is going to figure out that we are truly, honestly and for real, all in this together. There’s no you and me, no this and that, no us vs them. All those labels we use to cut the world up into slices of stuff, rights, money, property, and so on, that we can fight over are complete illusions.

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There’s no same. No different.

All there is …is just this. A continuum if you like. A web. Not one thing is ever created or destroyed. All the labels we put on things, people, events only confuse us into thinking things are truly discrete. That we might own something or some one or have real power over what happens to create some endless happiness parade. This is just not so.

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Think about it.

What are you made of? Where were you before you were born and what did you look like? And what about that device you’re reading this on? What’s that made of? Look deeply and see. Don’t accept the usual hack answers. See deeper than that.

Our poor minds are confused by concepts based on how the brain works, one hemisphere cutting up and ordering everything (which is useful for daily navigation but, which has limitations) and the other, seeing only that vast amazing continuum of everything and feeling bliss.

What if everyone started to really live inside the truth which all great traditions teach? Could we wait with more patience for whatever AND realize that the only life we have, is only happening right now. And right now. And again, here and now.

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And you know what’s crazy?

I realize I wrote this same basic thing back in second grade. I was in Mrs. Sessa’s class (Just an aside…Her son once accused me of eating the paste. He was the one eating it! Ha!) and each morning we had to write something. She would have a prompt on the board and we would write. I don’t recall the specific prompt any more but my Mom still has that paper somewhere, where I wrote and wrote for two pages, about my direct, and clear recognition of how fast time flies and how we all run the risk of wasting our whole lives if we only spend it waiting for something to happen. And worrying about what the thing that happens might possibly be like once it does get here. And worrying about things which have already happened in the past. Sigh.

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So, thank you Mrs. Sessa and for me and all of you. When we feel ourselves waiting, perhaps holding the breath..maybe we can use that time, to pause and recognize the ground of our being, our right here-and-nowness, our all-in-it togetherness and offer the moment a smile, a breath. And let go of waiting long enough to ask, so What does this moment most need right now? What does this person, these people, need most? As Tara Brach suggests, we might see that what is most needed is love, acceptance, forgiveness, connection.

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Let’s try it together and see. Let me know how it goes and I’ll report back to you all too.

Make today amazing dear ones.

Carpe diem, carpe pacem,

Hillary

SailingPsychologist

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Author: Hillary Johnson

Improvisational documentary and fine art photographer.

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